What’s Gay About Being Comfortable With Your Sexuality? PT.1

Janet is Jo

What’s Gay About Being Comfortable With Your Sexuality?

(Questions Inspired From The Motion Picture “For Color Girls”)

Written By: Jayi Kemp

Follow Me @Jayikemp on Twitter

I recently was given the opportunity to watch “For Color Girls” the new Tyler Perry movie that is the on screen adoption of the play entitled: For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf. This movie in my opinion was Tyler Perry’s best work to date, I cannot say I enjoy how he depicts men in most of his movies, but his work is truthful and honest.

I will not spend much time discussing the movie, what I want to shed my thoughts on with you is the characters rather than my thoughts on the actual movie. But I will say this about the film, the film is powerful and it reveals the ugly grim truth about people that we tend to ignore as a whole because of the perception it gives off to others.

Jo and Husband

In this blog I want to discuss my thoughts on Janet Jacksons character “Jo” in the movie, Jo was a beautiful, successful, strong will women whose sheer presences emasculated her husband’s manhood. I am not saying Jo was at fault for her husband’s behavior, but in the end you can see where he tries to insinuate that she is the reason for his behavior instead of accepting responsibility for his own actions.

Jo lived what seemed to be the independent women’s prefer lifestyle, she was her own boss, wealthy, smart and had a husband who appealed to others when she presented him, but what Jo did not have with her husband was monogamous. Jo apparently loved her husband, trust him to, even though on several occasions his behavior was suspect and his attraction to the same sex although not mention earlier was obvious enough to throw out the caution flag.

So why did she not say something, or focus in on her husband’s odd behavior sooner versus then later, I do not know, and it was not disclose, so I am only lead to assume this; Jo substituted work for  what she was lacking at home, as long as he appeared when she need it him, everything was okay.  

The Conversation

Until the day she went to the doctors and it was revealed to her that she was HIV positive. Jo’s husband had been cheating on her with men! I know this storyline is not new by any measure of the word, but yet in still it still occurs more often then we care to admit to ourselves, which leads me to wonder, why are people still ashamed off being who they are, what’s gay about being comfortable with who you are?

I am not saying that Jo’s husband was ashamed of sleeping with men, but he was not forthright with the information and he chose to continue his lifestyle knowing he had a wife at home that desired him occasionally. Which makes me think, he must have been uncomfortable with his sexuality, or was he simply taking out his frustration on her dominating him at home, by dominating men in the shower room, I once again do not know, but I do know this …

What Jo and her husband reenacted is all too real in our society, men enjoying sex with men but being scared to disclose it because of the reaction they think it will garner from others. Living in a society that has finally started to accept people for who they actually are makes me curious as to why people still seek to live a double life. Being scared to come out is one thing, but trying to cover up your sexuality can be quite fatal if you do not protect yourself.

Independent Women

Jo’s husband did not protect himself, therefore he put himself and Jo in a situation that could had been avoided if only he would had used common sense and tell his wife of his extra material affair with other men. I am sure she would had accepted a divorce rather than HIV, but because of her emasculating him (unintentionally I believe) he was scared to come out and tell her who he truly was because of the reaction she may or may not have given him, therefore he gambled and they both lost.

The point I am trying to make here is this, slavery is dead, no one owns anyone no more. Relationships are built on trust and should at least retain a certain level of respect for each other, people need to be able to confide into each other without risk of prejudice, we might not agree with what is coming out, but at least they have found the courage in them to tell someone the truth about the situation. It is 2010, if your gay your gay, so what big deal.

Being gay is like being black in America, people might not like the fact that society has changed, but we all know how to tolerate each other for the most part, so why be in closet when society says it’s okay to come up? Countless lives our lost because people are scared to tell their mates the truth, I just hope after watching this movie that people start understanding being scared doesn’t give anyone the right to play Russian roulette with someone else’s life regardless of how much of a bitch they have been, be comfortable or move on!